Today, I Am Depressed

But it’s okay. It’s okay to be depressed. I have to remember that.

Last night, on Tumblr, I posted this:

“I want to kill myself. But I know that I won’t. Still, the desire remains. I was optimistic. I thought I could go months without an episode. I was wrong. And all I can do now is try not to cry as I stare at the wall and berate my brain for feeling this way.

Fuck you, depression. I didn’t need you tonight.”

Today, I am still depressed, but the desire to end my life has passed. Yes, it’s still in the back of my mind, yet I’m not doing to give in, or beat myself up about it. Not today, not ever.

I am depressed. And it’s okay.

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2 thoughts on “Today, I Am Depressed

  1. You don’t know me but I sort of know you from watching your YouTube videos. I could just cry from your post because I have been there and I know exactly what you are going through. I don’t really feel comfortable leaving such a personal comment but I just wanted to give you some support. Also, I love your videos and your passion for books. Thank you for that.

  2. I have been subscribed on to your channel for a long time now, I do not watch every single video you do but don’t mistake that, I really adore you. Your rawness, how you comment on things, your perception, your writeups, your spontaneity. I will definitely download wordpress and just check out your blog there every now and then. Oodles of love

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