Musing | Demisexuality & Me

Okay. Here’s the thing.

I don’t really get attracted to people unless I know them well. The whole ‘ohh look at this topless guy, isn’t he hot?’ thing didn’t really kick in for me. (The exception is Tom Hiddleston, and even then I can guarantee you that that’s mainly because he’s so damn intelligent, and intelligence for me is something that I can totally get down with.)

I’d considered the possibility of being demisexual for a long while, but when Evan Edinger’s video on demisexuality was uploaded to YouTube, watching him discuss it and look so content doing that was truly refreshing. It made me look up the different kinds of sexuality that humanity has thus far considered again, just to familiarise myself.

I’d already known that I was bisexual, and I love it. I’m comfortable with it. I just love people, you know? (Though then that might be pansexuality. I’m not certain. I’ll get back to you on that.) And then to find out that there was a name for not being attracted to someone until you have a strong connection with them… It was a kind of relief, I suppose. I mean, I wasn’t agonising over it the way I did when I was discovering I liked women. But it was nice to know that it could have a label, if I wanted that.

So, yes. I could call myself demisexual, if I chose. No doubt the masses might go “there are more sexualities? More orientations?”

Yes, yes, yes. There are. There is so much more to sexuality than just on the other side of the fence or straddling it. And you should probably check these other labels all out. It’s the twenty-first century, people! It’s not just gay and lesbian anymore. And in all honesty, it never was. There have always been these sexualities.

They just never had names until the media age exploded and people could fully find themselves.

I am Lily. I am a twenty year-old bisexual, disabled white woman.

And I’m probably demisexual too.


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